Thursday, May 5, 2011

I have been wanting to blog for years. I can just never follow through when I start things. It happens with everything in my life. I get this great idea and then I throw myself 150% into it and then I burn out... but this I intend on keeping with. As a mom I am finding that I don't really have much of a voice. And I don't mean that in a bad, negative way. I just don't. I try to reason with my toddler and coo to my baby. The only adult interaction I get is with my husband when he gets home, or Tuesday night bible studies. God bless them both, they must think I am a lunatic.

When people used to say That being a mom was the hardest job in the world, I thought it was really just people trying to make their wives/moms feel better about themselves. Patting them on the back to keep them happy. But now I know the truth. Holy crap it IS hard! The constant whining, complaining, crying, screaming, yelling... it is grating. I'm told it doesn't get any better. At least for now I am faster and stronger.

I've been realizing I need a better outlet for my feelings. Something to help remind myself that yes, I am human. I have my own wants, needs, desires. I'm not just "Mommy" or "Someone's Wife". Trying to rediscover that part of myself. I also realized I needed to blog again when my toddler fell and ripped his nail off. Yes, as in his finger nail. And I rocked him and soothed him, sang his favorite song in his ear and he forgot what happened and ran off... but I sat there and cried like a baby. I was sad for his little finger, I was sad I didn't catch him, I was sad that I forgot to trim his nails, I was sad for myself, I was sad for my baby that she was woken from her nap early. After I realized I was a maniac for crying about this I thought "Well, at least he has 9 other nails left".

So this should be fun!

Here are the ground rules. There is me, duh. There is my husband, and my 2 children; Bear and Bunny. If you know me in real life then you know their real names. I might not even make this blog public so it might not even matter!

Until next time...